We're all familiar with the delicate art of raising Montessori children—balancing their hunger for independence while ensuring they're safely guided. Maria Montessori’s theory on freedom, meant to ignite exploration and discovery, sometimes takes a detour in its interpretation.
Bestowing our children with this sense of freedom is like entrusting them with a compass for self-discovery and informed decision-making. A ground-breaking thought in its time, it now risks becoming a somewhat overstretched mantra.
Then there's the danger of taking this freedom mantra just a tad too far, risking turning our little angels into the law-makers of their own universe.
One particular morning, Kenny, grinning from ear to ear, extended his gloved hand. He beamed as he clutched my hand with an enthusiasm usually reserved for ice cream trucks.
“He wanted to wear his onesie today, so I let him,” his mother said, throwing him a flying kiss. “Bye.”
While every fiber of my being yearned to reach out to her, I sat back and let natural consequences work its magic. Though our school code doesn’t exactly ban Pj’s or caped superheroes, we do ask our students to wear appropriate clothes for learning.
Kenny’s curious classmates greeted him, all happy to see him. “It’s not Pajama Day today,” one said. “Why are you wearing that?”
“I just wanted to.” Kenny chirped, skipping off.
I studied the faces of our students. Some shrugged it off, some wore a quizzical look, and others giggled.
As hours ticked by, Kenny’s wardrobe choice started showing its flaws. His onesie just wouldn't buddy up with his gym shoes, so bulky boots it was. Not ideal for a sprint or a strategic kick. And when he heated up, shedding layers wasn't an option unless he wanted to flaunt superhero undies for all to see.
Recess worked well with boots. Even splashing in the mud didn’t faze him. Kenny delighted in a game of tag until the low crotch of his outfit made him miss a stepping stone. He slipped and fell into the mud. A missed step, a mud bath, and Kenny’s love affair with his onesie came crashing down. “I hate this onesie.”
Natural consequences waved its wise wand.
So, the million-dollar question: How much freedom is just right for our little adventurers?
Freedom in Maria Montessori's theory can sometimes be misunderstood, but it's not as puzzling as it might seem. Kenny's mother might have embraced Montessori's ideas but didn't quite get the hang of them. Let's look at freedom in a more practical and encouraging light.
Freedom Needs Limits
It's essential to understand that freedom, even in the garden of life, needs some fences. Think about it - you can drive anywhere in the world, as long as you obey the traffic rules. You can wear whatever you want to a party, just not your birthday suit. Shouting "Fire" in a theater, well, that's a no-go.
Let's Dive into These Limits:
1. Consider the Collective Interest:
“A child's liberty should have at its limit the interests of the group to which he belongs.... We should therefore prevent a child from doing anything which may offend or hurt others, or which is impolite or unbecoming.” -Maria Montessori
The first limit is simple - consider others, whether it's your family, friends, or classmates. Imagine being a kid at a Halloween buffet filled with tempting treats. You want them all, but a friend reminds you to share. You take a few and promise to return if you're still hungry. Children should enjoy their freedom, but not at the expense of others. Being kind and patient is key.
In a Montessori classroom, kids learn to be considerate of their friends, not causing disruptions and handling materials with care. At home, they're encouraged to respect their family members' needs, not interrupting online meetings or playing with someone’s favorite collection without permission.
2. Knowledge Before Choice:
“To let the child do as he likes when he has not yet developed any powers of control is to betray the idea of freedom.” -Maria Montessori
Kenny, bless his heart, didn't know the downsides of wearing a onesie to school. A little guidance could've spared him some embarrassment. Freedom comes when you're ready for it. You wouldn't give a chainsaw to a child who can't handle it, right?
I wouldn't allow a student to play with the “Beginning Sounds” tray of objects unless they have a solid knowledge of some of the letter sounds. Nor would I present a lesson on multiplication beads unless the child has mastered addition.
At home, it's a bit trickier. Do your kids know what's good for them to eat? Do they understand nutrition? That's where limits come in.
3. Limit the Choices:
“The child's development follows a path of successive stages of independence, and our knowledge of this must guide us in our behaviour towards (them).” -Maria Montessori
Kids love to make choices, but sometimes they need a gentle nudge. Like my daughter - she'd wear fancy dresses to play in the mud if I let her. So, I organized her closet. School outfits on one level, party dresses on another. She had freedom within limits.
In a Montessori classroom, shelves start half-empty, gradually filling as kids get ready for new challenges. At home, you can limit choices while still giving them a sense of ownership. Believe it or not, kids actually want limits. They look to you for guidance, testing boundaries to learn. It's entirely natural. Setting boundaries is not being strict; it's being a responsible parent.
In the end, freedom with limits isn't about stifling, but guiding. It's teaching kids responsibility and respect, helping them grow into considerate and capable individuals.