The Art of Raising Children without Erasing Yourself
How Montessori Discipline and Self-Care Create a Balanced Home
Dear Precious Parents,
Hello! How have you all been?
I’m back on my feet and gently easing into writing again. While I still need to tread lightly, I can’t help but let a few perky parenting tips percolate to the surface (pardon my passion for alliteration).
Today, I’m sharing a chapter from my upcoming book, The Montessori Home: Creating Peaceful Spaces and Empowered Kids. I may send more chapters your way as I go—because I truly consider you part of my inner circle. Your encouragement and support mean the world to me, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
This chapter is especially close to my heart. It’s dedicated to you—the guardian of future heroes. It’s called The Art of Raising Children Without Erasing Yourself and speaks to the delicate balance between nurturing your child and honouring your own space and selfhood.
“A child’s liberty should have at its limit the interests of the group to which he belongs.” — Maria Montessori
I once visited a home that felt like a shrine to one very adored child. The walls were covered in framed photos, baby shoes were bronzed like museum artifacts, and lamp shades wore ballet tutus. The living room couch had become a fort, and our cupcakes were served in SpongeBob plates at the kitchen counter.
There’s nothing wrong with a child-centered home. It was delightful, busy, and alive. I smiled at the pitter-patter of feet and the crayons on the fridge.
But what struck me was this: there was no sign of the adults. No restful space. No framed travel photos, no room to sit and simply be.
While child-centered spaces are a joy to behold, I’ve learned over the years that parenting with purpose means remembering your place in the home, too. Montessori parenting isn’t about perfection — it’s about balance. A balance that respects your child’s freedom, yes, but also honors your own need for space, beauty, and peace.
In previous newsletters, we’ve explored the importance of creating spaces that empower your child and ways to create space for your child’s independence. But now, let’s explore the other side of the pendulum: how to protect your own well-being while still fostering your child’s independence.
Because a Montessori home is not a child-only space — it’s a shared space where everyone matters.
Your Well-Being Shapes the Atmosphere
As parents, we often put our children’s needs first — and that’s only natural. But when we forget to care for ourselves, the entire household feels the ripple. Your home’s atmosphere mirrors your energy.
I learned this deeply when I became a single mother. I drove more cautiously, avoided unnecessary risks, and made rest and peace a priority — not just for me, but for my children, who needed me strong and present. I had to take care of myself so I could take care of them.
This is where Montessori meets self-care. A respectful, balanced home environment includes everyone. Including you.
Sharing Space, Sharing Respect
Here are five ways to design a Montessori-inspired home where your needs — and your child’s — coexist with harmony.
1. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re expressions of respect. Children thrive when they understand the family is a community, and everyone’s needs are valued.
Set up designated spaces where children are free to explore and create. At the same time, protect your own areas — maybe a reading nook, your home office, or even your favorite chair. Let them know: “This is where I focus or rest. You’re welcome to join me when I’m free.”
2. Talk Through Expectations
Even young children understand more than we think. Speak to them calmly and clearly about what’s important to you.
“This picture of my grandmother is very special to me. I’d be sad if it broke.” This simple message teaches care and emotional awareness. It also invites your child into the world of empathy.
3. Designate Areas with Purpose
In many homes, the family room is the catch-all space for noise and play, while the living room is kept tidy for guests. But if you don’t have two living areas, be creative.
My kitchen became a no-go zone during cooking time. The oven was hot, knives were out, and I needed focus. My children knew to speak to me from the doorway or wait until I was free. It was our unspoken kitchen rule.
Clear, consistent structure helps children feel secure and respected.
4. Use Time-Based Sharing
When space is limited, create time zones. Let children know the living room is for them most of the day — but when it’s time for your favorite show or for guests to arrive, it’s their cue to move upstairs or outside.
My children helped clean and prepare the space before visitors came. They understood the shift and learned that their home was for them and for others.
5. Display Belongings Thoughtfully
Children can learn what is and isn’t for play. As early as two, you can guide them with gentle supervision and consistency.
In our home, I displayed fragile items on higher shelves and placed child-friendly items down low. On our Christmas tree, breakable ornaments stayed at the top while handmade ones hung within reach. Everyone felt included, and nothing got broken.
Your Home Is Not a Classroom
Montessori classrooms are designed entirely for the child. But a home? A home is for everyone.
It’s where parents rest, children play, and families grow. A place where love, structure, and shared respect shape a peaceful rhythm.
Let your child know: you matter here — and so do I.
In Essence
Montessori parenting isn’t just about empowering the child — it’s about creating balance. Your space, your needs, and your self-care are just as vital as your child’s play corner or art shelf.
By modelling respectful boundaries, thoughtful communication, and shared space, you give your child the greatest gift: a vision of home as a place of harmony, not just freedom.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Did something in the chapter resonate with you? Have you found your own way of creating balance at home? Just hit reply—I read every message with a cup of tea in hand.
Thank you for being part of this parenting journey with me. We’re building something beautiful together—a community that uplifts both children and the grown-ups who love them.
With warmth and gratitude,
Susie