Why is Freedom Essential in Raising a Happy Child?
The fruits of freedom in a Montessori home or classroom
(The pronouns “they” and “their” are used for gender neutrality.)
Handwriting is my favourite subject to teach. You may think this is drudgery, even punishment for some. I know many people, including myself felt this way when they were learning handwriting. I got a “C” in handwriting, which spurred my father to tutor me an hour a day during the summer . For an eight-year old, an hour was like eternity while my neighbours played outside in our garden.
I wonder if some of you are as ancient as me when writing the same sentence, “I promise I will behave myself” a hundred times during recess was used as punishment. As if that would inspire me to behave myself.
Lucky for me, my father shared his passion for pens and I got bitten by the same bug. Handwriting with a Shaeffer fountain pen was heaven for me. My love for cursive and calligraphy grew with the collection of pens I gathered.
Believe it or not, my students love handwriting as much as I do now.
My secret is in making the activity an enjoyable experience — that’s preparing the environment to be conducive to learning, as we discussed earlier. I play uplifting instrumental music, and children miraculously transform into a calm and focused worker. As time goes by, children grow to love this particular song. Like Pavlov’s dog, they fall silent and zone into their writing worksheet.
I had a grade-one student who was so intent on learning how to write. Considering he had difficulty holding the pencil properly, he was amazingly happy, enthusiastic, and determined to complete the activity. He filled not only all the lines of the handwriting worksheet, but he also filled all the lines in between. Then, he proceeded to write around at the edge of the paper. That wasn’t enough. He turned the paper over and filled every single space at the back.
Now if I was a traditional teacher, I would’ve told him to stop once he filled the lines that I required. But knowing he was in his sensitive period for writing, I gave him the freedom to work all morning practising his handwriting. I was confident he’d eventually stop and work on other activities, like math or reading, when he was ready.
Because that’s what children do. That is how they learn. They don’t follow a rigid schedule and shift interest when the bell rings, like traditional schools expect them to do. They follow their own personal clock, a clock that instinctively guides them into a state of focus and contemplation. Children need freedom to grow and learn the way they were meant to learn.
Why do children need freedom in learning?
1. Children instinctively know what skill they need to develop.
They have an innate ability to listen to their own personal clock. Their personal timeline. Each child develops at their own pace and at their own manner. One child may be focused on mathematical concepts for a season, another on learning phonetic reading. The Montessori classroom provides opportunities for each child to listen to their own calling and function accordingly.
2. Children need time and support to carry out their personal mission.
Some children need hours executing a task, just like the student I mentioned above. Others flit from material to material exploring various interests. They may not have developed their endurance for concentration yet, and may need to take one small task at a time.
3. Freedom gives them permission to explore, make mistakes and learn from them.
Exploration is the key to discovery and wonderment. It harnesses joy of learning, a feeling of adventure, and develops sustained interest, making learning an enjoyable journey. Children need the freedom to try each material out and test their limitations and skills. They should have the opportunity to make mistakes without much adult correction. That’s why Montessori materials are self-correcting. They preserve the dignity and pride of the children. They teach children learning is a process of trial and error, discovery and problem-solving, and that they should enjoy each step of the way.
What happens when your child enjoys the benefits of freedom?
1. Your child’s individuality blossoms.
Your child will be free to explore. They will follow what their heart desires and search activities that delights them. These activities will be unique to them and only them. They will not be forced to conform, but to listen to their special calling, not what you expect your child to be. Remember, your child has an innate ability to choose the appropriate skill to improve. Trust your child. They will navigate their way towards timely and effective learning.
Since each child will grow through their own journey, they will create their unique self and be unparalleled in their development. When each child in a classroom is led on their special path, diversity and acceptance flourishes.
2. Focus and flow of conscientiousness
When one happily indulges in an activity of high interest, drudgery is eliminated. Learning will be received with enthusiasm and embrace. Pure pleasure and satisfaction soak their experience. Learning will be their motivation and reward, spurring them onwards towards success. Distractions in their surroundings will seem trivial, and they will opt to focus on their task. They will enter a state of flow, the ultimate state of learning and concentration.
Provide your child with freedom to grow and learn.
When children are provided freedom, they will instinctively choose the appropriate activity for them to learn. They will either be so focused on their task, and they will sustain that level of concentration for a long period of time. Or they will go around the room, exploring for something that’ll catch their interest. They may experiment, try our a few things, and come back to it later.
Children will learn a few things as they go along, creating generalizations in their mind, extracting theories of life and learning. They will practise making choices, sharpening their sense of judgement so they can make more crucial decisions in their future.
Exploring will help children use the trial-and-error method, making mistakes along the way, and learning from them. This will help them develop their sense of self-control, stopping themselves from making the same mistakes in the future.
Freedom will enhance their work habits. They will learn to work undisturbed, strengthening their concentration, and get in the flow. They will celebrate their own successes and grow to love learning.
Best of all, with freedom, your child will blossom into the unique individual they were meant to be. They will grow into one special being, filled with wonderment and a zest for life.
Providing freedom for your child doesn’t mean it comes without limits. As a parent or teacher, we have to learn when and how to set those limits upon them. (But that’ll be another article.)
Meanwhile, enjoy watching your child flourish in their adventures of growing up.